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Friday, February 19, 2010

Five Things Bands Should Never Do

As you know, my friends, I rarely ever rant, but sometimes the truth just has to come out! Most of the bands in Athens give us rockin' new experiences every time we see them. They love their fans and their fans love them. Occasionally, though, a band will commit a most terrible crime against their listeners. No, no, I'm not talking about a bit of eardrum assault... That's to be expected in a town where brand new bands crop up on a daily basis. The crimes I'm talking about are much more heinous.

This may be the worst of the worst. Bands should never yell at their fans for chatter during their set. After all, punishments for talking shouldn't exist outside of class. Louder music? Great idea! Attention grabbing antics? Yes, absolutely! Flirtatiously inappropriate comments? Ooh, exciting! Verbal beatdowns for those enjoying themselves? Well, that's no fun! As long as the fans aren't so loud that they completely overpower the entire set, so wild that they crash the stage, or so violent that they're attacking people in the audience with an assortment of knives and swords, the members of the band should just love the fact that they're there.

Another no no? Bragging about how amazing the next song is. Trust me, the audience has ears; after all, they're there to give them a bit of a treat. They'll be able to tell whether or not it's amazing for themselves. A little bit of bragging can be amusing, though, when it's done facetiously.

Now, now, let's not commit any minor infractions! How ever one band feels about another, it just makes sense to encourage the fans to stay for the whole lineup. Who knows which people are there for which set of tunes? Good vibes are always a great idea!

This one's only a misdemeanor, but it's certainly a tragic one. Bands should always remember to tell the audience who they're listening to. Wow, what a band! It's the greatest band I've ever seen! So, who are they now? No matter how famous a band is, if they're not playing to a full venue of 1000+ eager fans, there's probably at least a few people in the audience who have no idea who they are. With the wonderfully affordable prices of shows in Athens, there's bound to be a some people who just wandered in because they heard music playing. So, bands, near the beginning of your set and the end... TELL US WHO YOU ARE so we can heap our love upon you and spread the word about your tunes!

And finally, bands must never forget to thank their fans. Spread the love!

Now it's your turn. Have you witnessed any purely heinous musical crimes that you'd like to share? Comment below, and tell your story!



    It feels so historic that I am forced to contribute.

    We made the mistake of playing with a touring group called Jacob's Ladder once. Here is a quick list of things that can be learned from their example:

    -As a prelude, don't make outrageous promises to the other bands about crowd size and payment unless you can deliver. We were guaranteed (his words) 100+ crowd and sizeable payment. We played for free to about three people.

    -If you have a CD for sale, mention it once or twice onstage. Don't leech onto one person for fifteen to twenty minutes after your set, trying to pressure/guilt/beg them into buying your record.

    -Don't physically force people to sign up for your email list. Just leave it somewhere visible with a pen. Otherwise you just get "".

    -It's okay to ask people to move around more or to get closer. But if they ignore your request, don't keep making it after every song. You're only making it more awkward.

    -Don't seek out bands you have nothing in common with musically. This only guarantees that every person in the crowd will spend at least part of the night not enjoying themselves at all.

    -Lastly, don't play shows with Jacob's Ladder :)

  2. DON'T kill all of your fans. It sucks. You then realize that you have no one to play to and that no one is telling their friends about you. Usually in this case because they are dead.

  3. Even a more famous band should adhere to these standards. I believe there was one band (I can't remember the name of this band... Dave Mathews?? I can't remember...) that would get mad at the fact that there were not ENOUGH fans at their concert in BRITAIN. Lets face it. Not everyone around the world is going to be aware of your band even if you're famous in a country. To smash your guitar on the floor and storm off because of this "affront" to your pride, is not a reason to exhibit this sort of behavior. The moral of the story? Be greatful for what you have you ungrateful prick...
    Another unbelievable example of poor behavior stems from a song that insults the listener. In one of the lyrics it states that the audience is stupid for listening and liking the very song. What is wrong with this picture? Contrary to popular belief, people don't like to be insulted either in person or a song (or if they are at the concert they get both...). Fergie THANKED her fans in her song Glamorous which I find exemplary! Learn people! Fans made you famous and they can strip it away just as easily! Cease with the insults if you wish to continue with your current careers!
    And that completes my "no nos" for bands :)